Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
