Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
