watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
