It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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