I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
