Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
