Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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