I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
