So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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