last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
