Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
