well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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