I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
