Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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