is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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