So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
