she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
