I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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