tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize