U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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