Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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