Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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