Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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