I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
