so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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