Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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