You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He felt like a one man threesome
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news