Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.

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(301): I wish Pampers made couches for people like us. http://tfl.nu/vwfv

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(479): View more from Arkansas

hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

what?

(479): View more from Arkansas

your penis

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(479): hey, can i borrow that thing you never use? (1-479): what? (479): your penis http://tfl.nu/2nga

Replies (11) Good night (1367) Bad night (3679)
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(972): View more from Texas

Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.

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(972): Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food. http://tfl.nu/9e1d

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college

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(920): Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college http://tfl.nu/rv3o

Replies (67) Good night (4525) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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(250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti

Replies (19) Good night (967) Bad night (3917) Order T-Shirt
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(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(240): stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing. http://tfl.nu/y30j

Replies (20) Good night (8749) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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(204): Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments http://tfl.nu/8aia

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.

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(403): He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant. http://tfl.nu/2z77

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness

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(505): I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness http://tfl.nu/jgsm

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening

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(604): I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening http://tfl.nu/c0v1

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(801): View more from Utah

I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...

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(801): I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you... http://tfl.nu/j9so

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(520): View more from Arizona

So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?

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(520): So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend? http://tfl.nu/gpxm

Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (642)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!

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(505): This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want! http://tfl.nu/7h8o

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.

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(508): Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada. http://tfl.nu/kq1p

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.

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(978): i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken. http://tfl.nu/6c3c

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