HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.