the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
