AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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