:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it was like eating out sand paper
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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