I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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