if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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