ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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