I can text with my tongue
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My vagina just recognized that song.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
