I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
