They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
