he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
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I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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