I must be too annoying 4 u.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
