that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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