I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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