when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
