I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
