I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
