theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
NoShamevember. You game?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
