Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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