One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
