dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
