how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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