For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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