he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
