everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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