All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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