Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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