omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
