I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
