i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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