try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
