everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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