I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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