i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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