Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize