i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
