Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
