I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Enjoy the penises
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
