i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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