i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
