Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Betty ford says i'm here all night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
